3 Important Truths about the role of parents in a child’s faith journey:

Truth #1: Parents are usually the most important spiritual influence in their kids’ lives. It’s impossible to point to a faith factor more significant than a teen’s parents.

            Following a nationwide telephone survey of more that 3,000 teens and their parents, as well as 250 in-depth interviews, sociologist Dr. Christian Smith concluded: “Most teenagers and their parents may not realize it, but a lot of research in the sociology of religion suggests that the most important social influence in shaping young people’s religions lives is the religious life modeled and taught to them by their parents…. When it comes to kids’ faith, parents get what they are.”

            Of course there are exceptions. Your own faith might be vastly different than your parents’ faith. Also, there are plenty of parents whose kids end up all over the faith spectrum. But parents are more than an initial launching pad for their kids’ faith journeys – they continue to shape them as ongoing companions and guides.

Truth #2: Most parents miss out on opportunities to talk about faith with their kids. According to the Search Institute’s nationwide study, just one out of eight kids (12%) has a regular dialogue with their mom about faith issues. The percentage is far lower (5%) for dads. Approximately one out of ten (9%) of teenagers participate in regular Bible reading and devotions with their family.

Truth #3: The best discussions about faith happen not just when parents ask questions, but when parents share their own experiences too. That relatively small group of parents who do talk with their kids about faith tend to default to simple questions that only skim the surface:

            What did you talk about in church today?

            How was youth group?

            What did you think of the sermon?

Depending on the personality and mood of the teenager, responses usually range from a grunt to “the usual.” Not very satisfying for the parent or the kid. But research shows that asking these questions can pay off. Even more, a faith that sticks is dependent on parents also sharing about their own faith. Parents shouldn’t merely interview kids; they need ot discuss their own faith journey and all of its ups and downs too.

(Powell, Kara; Griffin, Brad. "Solving the Parent Problem" Group September/October 2011: 54-59.)